I have so many spam comments, even with cotcha or whatever it is, on my other site I thought I would try this one. Its very hard to post and know if its helping anyone if I cant get comments. Sometimes it helps me just to write. More often than not now, its more of something I have been through or realized that helped me and I wanted to share with someone else in hopes of helping them
Today there is so much on my mind that I am unable to focus at all. I understand that if you can not focus, its very hard to succeed at any task as you are simply unable to see it through. That is how I feel about my life now. Its getting very hard
I will give a refresher on what I deal with since its been so long. I was diagnosed with colitis about 1992. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia soon after or either right before. I was first told I had some sort of techychardia in 1996 and had one of the first ablasions in the US. Later I kept having trouble with my heart, and my last echo showed I might have bicuspid aortic valve but because my colon has always been so bad, they always put this off. They also suspect I have graves disease but the blood test showed yes, then the scan said no. They wanted me to repeat it but I have been unable to. I was then diagnosed with crohns off and on the last 7 years or so. The blood test is not 100% accurate and never had desease in my ilium or small intestine. Finally it was discovered I for sure had crohns when I had to get my colon removed and now have a perm ileostomy as of last year.
There are a few other things wrong but these are the majors of concern right now. I once was a member of many, and ran a few of my own, support groups for chronically ill and depressed persons. I left most of that alone when a girl on myspace said she tried to kill herself and her daughter found her. I didnt speak with her often and I dont even recall who she is. I felt responsible as so many turned to me in their moment of despair and I was so sick and so into my own illness I just couldnt be there for her. I then tried to help Lisa husband get fibromyalgia on the Oprah show with no success. Lisa had committed suicide. http://www.myspace.com/video/lisa1020varillas. I felt I made no difference to anyone and mostly closed myself off from the world, online and off
I started playing a game on facebook because a friend needed my help and started to use it more and more. As more of my old friends joined, family and I made new friends, I began to talk once again. Now I do what I can in hopes I will help anyone at all in their life. Be it in helping to deal with their own illness, a family member thats ill or just life in general and how to cope. I think if I can cope with all that I have going on, still being married almost 25 years and 4 boys, ages 7-20, I might be of some help in any area.
Well we will see how this works out. Until I learn the new layout here (its been 2 or 3 years since I actually blogged here) and fix it all up, feel free to visit some of my favorite sites
My last blog - http://theinvisibleamongus.com/
My youtube - http://www.youtube.com/theinvisibleamongus
Our fibromyalgia letter writing campaign (many letters of those that suffer FMS, family members of those that do or friends of them) http://fibroletters.com/
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