Current mood:
miserable Category: PAIN Blogging
While participating in that Mr Tolle online web broacast, I joined the Oprah site and started browsing the boards to see what others were saying about the book. I happened upon a thread about FMS, very small, no one really talking
There was one person that wanted a show done about FMS/CFS and the like and another person stating how depressing that would be and they wouldnt watch itFor weeks this has bothered me. Finally I made a post. I am unsure how clear I was as I was upset still when I did it. Yet I want you all to go MAKE A SEPERATE THREAD about doing a show about us.
That one person there had a point. I said that I was unsure the 2 of us could start a movement but if they were willing I was too. They are willing. So am I. So must you be
=================
Ms Winfrey, you can save my life
*"It must be true, I saw it on tv" - so 10 years ago*
*"It must be true, I read it online" - so 5 years ago*
*"It must be true, I SAW IT ON OPRAH" = so now*
As much as it pains me to believe it, this is so true. Given this fact (and it is a fact, just watch Dr Phil)
I think that if the Oprah show does not do a show on FMS and the other CFS illness and JUST THESE we will die. I myself will die. I believe that if the millions of women that watch this show were to tell their millions of men in their lives what they saw on Oprah then maybe we will have better doctors to care for us, better drugs to help us and most importantly a society that will accept us. Then they will tell their children that FMS/CFS and the others are real so my children are not laughed at because their mom is always sick but their mom says "oh nothing is wrong with her, she just craves attention"
Attention from who? From the friends that no longer talk to me or ask me out because I am always too tired to go? From my family that has just decided to listen to my mother that its all in my head? From the countless tv shows that say that this sort of thing is all in my head and if i just THINK POSITIVE this will all go away as its just a manifestation of my negative thinking? Oh my, what will I do without all this attention
I have suffered FMS/CFS symptoms since at least the age of 11. I go to bed at night thanking God for letting me live though another day and wake up cursing him for not taking me in my sleep. If I was not a coward, I would’ve followed in Judith Curren’s footsteps years ago. Yet I am a coward. I have met many cowards online in support channels, newsgroups and what not. We are cowards because if we truly wanted to die we would’ve shut up and did it already.
So I am told I believe we are EXTRAORDINARY people and you can never meet any stronger. We did not take the easy road as many times as we wanted to, came close to it, held the pills in our hands, the gun to our head, the blades to our wrists...we did not do it. We go to work every day, we raise our kids, heck some of us just to take a shower once a week is all we can do. We are still EXTRAORDINARY people. EXTRAORDINARY!!
Yet if you do not tell the world, we will die. How many parents are telling their child its all in their mind and they are a hypochondriac? How many friends and family have we lost because they think its all in our minds? How many of us are living on someones couch because we can not get disability but yet got fired and unable to hold a job as one day you can "push through the pain" yet the next you can not even remember your phone number or even crawl out of bed to pee. I AM DYING!
I am dying in a world where no one will allow me to live. Where because I am not wheelchair bound or because I dont have cancer or something that will physically cripple me or kill me, society treats me like dirt or less. I am unsure how much longer I can do this and I am not alone. I am afraid.
This is a post I made that is too long to post here, so here is the link and part of the post:http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=172835727&blogID=368088631
Here is yet another partial post from a women I read about on myspace: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=172835727&blogID=363435532
These are just two posts of millions that you can easily find anywhere online. From people that are still able to work, some no longer able to work, some that have found some things that worked for them, others like myself that have found no long term relief ever.
Martha Ainsworth, founder and director of Metanoia, a non-profit organization dedicated to suicide prevention, describes the problem of suicide succinctly. She writes, "Suicide happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide, and individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. According to Ainsworth, you can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.
Judith Curren took her life in 1996 drawing world wide attention to CFS. Every support group I was in and those that I read about cried out for her. Then we felt that at least her life would not be in vane. At least now someone was sure to listen and treat us as human once again. To help us cope with the pain as she was unable to do so. We are still waiting.
I read in many posts here that no one wants a show about FMS/CFS, it will be too depressing. Its just something we dont want to see. Even from other sufferers that because THEY are blessed enough to still be able to clean their own house, get out of bed each day or even work, that those of us that suffer more often or can not find relief, we are just not strong enough. Or , the best I have heard yet, that because we havent been under a doctors strict care and treatment, we are asking to suffer. I love that one. I did that entire "scene" for I dont know how many years. It did nothing but drive me to bankruptcy.
Please SAVE MY LIFE!
