| A scare we had last night...
Current mood: afraid
Category: afraid Blogging Usually I never worry about myself. I just know that if anything happens its meant to and God will see me through it. I wish I could be that secure with others, I worry and cry and take theirs on as my own. Yet myself, I usually never worry. Last night though, was different
I told you I been taking cymbalta and ambien. I was to take 1 cymbalta for 3 nights then go to 2 a night. Still I don't see an effect but I know it can take 2-4 weeks. The ambiem I don't take every night but I do when I am exausted or when I know I need rest. Like today. Anthony has to work overtime so will just be me with Terry all day and then the boys from 5a til 8p. So even though I only get 2-3 hours of sleep with the ambien, that's more then I usually get. Least its all in a row haha
Anyway, this morning Anthony said that I was hallucinating. I kept holding up my hands like Jesus or something talking about going to the light. "Do you see the light? Embrace the light." I sorta of remember that but I asked him was maybe we were watching that last episode of House or something. He said no. We were watching College Hill laughing, and the next thing he knew I was talking about the light.
He said it scared him so bad that he was going to wake AJ and take me to the emergency room. This went on for an hour. I hardly remember anything. He said he tossed cold water on me and everything. Yet I continued to talk about the light and try to get to it until I just fell asleep
I know I have a friend that takes a lot of stuff at night, including ambien I think and she does weird stuff. She has called me and talked for 2 hours and not remembered it all. She has also called her father and others. Not remember anything at all the next day. Yet when you talk to her, she seems quite normal, just really happy
Needless to say I will no longer be taking the ambien anymore. I will keep taking the cymbalta unless something else happens but I am waiting to see what my doctor says. That really scared Anthony and now it has me really worried. If he wasn't awake what would I have done? Killed myself to get to the light? Would I have killed my kids like some bad movie? I am just really afraid now.
I really am hoping after all the work I have done and the patience so many have had, that I don't, once again, be so afraid I just quit taking medications again. I know it has to be something specific. A mix of them maybe. Maybe because I was so sick with a cold I took some cold medicine that morning. Maybe that had an effect.
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